Two girlfriends were talking to each other about relationships. "I put an ad in one of those singles websites looking for a boyfriend."

"What kind of guy did you say you were looking for?"

"I wanted an ambitious guy who likes to dig in to get the job done and is really down to earth. I think I found him."

"So what does he do?"

"He's a grave digger."

Growing up, I was really jealous of my best friend. His grandmother lived in a two story house which he went over to visit quite often.

My grandmother lived in a one story house.

The only story I ever heard was "The Little Engine That Could", OVER AND OVER AGAIN!

Two women were talking on the phone. "Gilda, I just saw an ad on TV advertising a new weight loss program. It's called 'Your Chance to be Slim'."

"I heard about 'Your Chance to be Slim', Olga, and I know some people who tried it," replied Gilda.

"And how did go for them?"

"Not good."

"So what do you think the prognosis is of ME losing weight on this diet?"

"Slim chance."

I believe that the most popular name for a cat should be Waldo.

I mean, don't you eventually end up asking where your cat is every day?