Back in my hippie college days, a professor came up to me in the cafeteria and asked me, "Ya dig?"

I thought to myself, this guy's pretty far out. I answered, "Yeh, man. I dig!"

That's how I got hoodwinked into joining his archaeological expedition.

When, and if, Mick Jagger retires, he has expressed interest in building structures assembled with concrete and mortar...

That would make him a Rolling Stonemason.

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like every time I go to see the doctor, all I hear coming out of his mouth is a DIE-agnosis?

A three-fer:

What do you get when you cross a former vice president with a slasher film?
A: An Al Gore-fest!

What do you get when you cross a former "90210" actress with a national youth contest?
A: A Tori Spelling-Bee!

What do you get when you cross a presidential candidate with a wind instrument?
A: A Donald Trump-pet!