"Doctor Feldman! You better get into room 313 fast, the patient is acting bizarre!"

"I'm on my way!"

Entering the room the doctor sees the patient furiously tying and twisting pieces of rope together, drawn tight into a knobby mass. He seemed totally out of control.

"What are you doing? Stop that!" the doctor yells.

The patient completely ignores the doc and continues to loop and interlace the sections of rope in an intense, violent manner.

"Again, I beg you. Stop what you're doing. You're behaving in a mentally deranged way!"

To which the patient replies, "Say what you will doc, but I'M KNOT CRAZY!"

A cop breaks up a fight by two invisible men.

As the crowd gathers, he shouts, "Move along, folks. There's nothing to see here!"

Patrons at the zoo were astonished to see an old man jump over the bars of the lion's cage. Seemingly oblivious to the danger, he walked among the fierce creatures holding the latest bestselling book in his hands, intently perusing its contents. The spectators were beside themselves.

"What in the world is he doing?" shouted one.

"Is he crazy? He's going to get killed!" yelled another.

"Don't worry about him," replied the man's son. "That's just my dad. He likes to read between the lions."

I try not to think about this too much, but somewhere out there, flying the friendly skies, is the world's WORST pilot.