Definition of a scale: Right-of-Weigh

I think I'm going to officially change my name to "Next"...

That way, I flash my ID, shout 'Excuse me, I'm Next' and I'll be able to go right to the front of the line.

I have a friend, a medical examiner, who has an odd way of conducting postmortem procedures.

He keeps flipping the subject over, then back, then over again repeatedly.

He calls it "autopsy-turvy".

My parrot was looking quite lonely in the cage all by himself. So, I thought it would be a nice gesture on my part to get him a larger cage and introduce him to a new friend to keep him company, a pet duck.

Of course, I had to ask him first, "Polly want a quacker?"