Gladys, a resident at the local assisted living apartment complex, invited her new neighbor to her place for coffee and dessert. Ethel, slightly younger than Gladys, sat down at the table and was anxious to spend time with her new friend.

"Here's your cup, and there's a teapot full of fresh tea," said Gladys.

"What an exquisitely clean cup and saucer," exclaimed Ethel. "How do you get them so spotless?"

"I do the dishes with Joy," exclaimed Gladys. "Would you like a piece of cake now?"

"And put it on this shiny clean plate? I imagine you clean your plates with Joy also?

"All the time," replied Gladys. "It really saves me a lot of money."

After some more conversation, and taking the last bite of her cake, Ethel glances over and sees a furry feline approaching her. "What an adorable cat," she exclaims while taking her last sip of tea.

"That's my little princess! Come here, Joy," as Gladys starts putting the cups and plates on the floor. "We're all finished with our lunch!"

Why were two giraffes kicked out of the zoo?

They were caught necking.

All haunted houses are the same. I went to one the other night, and heard the standard screams, shrieks, scary sounds and gotchas.

Then I went to another one down the road and it was like "Deja BOO!" all over again.

To keep the steaks coming to the round table, King Arthur knighted his ace barbequer... Sir Loin.