Favorite this joke I picked the wrong time to break up with my girlfriend. I made the mistake of doing this when the roller coaster we were on at the theme park was almost to the top, ready to plummet down the other side...
Needless to say, things went downhill from there.
It was so hot when we got married outdoors in August, we decided to turn on all the sprinklers to cool everyone off.
Everyone enjoyed our wetting ceremony!
Two vacuum cleaners are arguing...
"You suck!"
"No, you suck!"
"You suck worse!"
"I don't suck!"
"Why not?"
"I'm not plugged in!"
Unbeknownst to Harold, the local tax collector, he was knocking on the door of a house inhabited by cannibals. A woman answered the door.
"I'm here to talk to a person named Stewart. He's a bit late on his tax payment."
"Actually, we just moved in with him recently. He can't see you now," she replied.
"Can I wait for him?"
"Sure! And while you're waiting, how would you like some dinner? You look very hungry. I've made up a delicious array of meat and vegetables simmered in a thick, seasoned broth. Sort of like goulash."
"This is highly inappropriate, but it does smell delicious. I'll have just a little." After finishing his meal, Harold says, "Absolutely scrumptious! Can Stewart see me now?"
"I'm sorry, but you'll have to leave."
"But I was here to meet Stewart."
"Don't worry about meeting Stew. Go out to your car and give yourself a couple of hours. Stew will be right out!"
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