Favorite this joke Definition of preface: What you looked like before plastic surgery.
I like to smoke whenever and wherever I want. When someone tells me no smoking allowed, I tell them, "No problem, I'll smoke quietly then."
What do you call a sold-out Demolition Derby event?
A smashing success!
Ben was complaining to his friend Ralph about his new girlfriend. "I think Tonya is a hoarder. I went over to her place for the first time yesterday and everywhere I looked, there were magazines. Dozens of them, strewn around everywhere. People, Good Housekeeping, Readers Digest, TV Guide, Life, Time, Newsweek. You name it, she had it."
"I wouldn't go out with her anymore if I were you," said Ralph.
"Why not?"
"She has issues."
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