I'm really ticked that my handmade replica of the Norse god of thunder didn't win top prize at the Medieval Art and Statue Convention.

I guess that makes me a Thor loser.

What do you get when you cross a perfect poker hand with a successful bathroom experience by Queen Elizabeth?

A Royal Flush!

Want to stop someone right in their tracks? When you're talking with them and they start a sentence with "Generally speaking", interrupt them immediately and say, "Glad to meet you General, Sir. Ulysses S. Grant speaking!"

I don't trust those internet and TV ads about apps. They say they are free, but how do I know I'm not getting charged hidden fees after I download them?

Do they really do what they say they're going to do? And all those gigabytes they use up! I just feel very uneasy when it comes to this kind of cell phone technology.

I guess that makes me… app-rehensive?