If a person is very adept at telling falsehoods about the money he owes, does that mean he's really good at telling us his LIE-abilities?

Two magnets were having a conversation. "I went on a blind date yesterday"

"Oh really…how did it go?"

"Unfortunately, not so well."

"Why not?"

"There was no attraction."

Bingo and Bango were two of Santa's elves assigned to make cheese for Christmas food baskets. However, they got into a slight argument about who was to do what.

"I know how to make cheese, Santa," said Bango. "The thickened curds and gelatinized whey separate from coagulated milk. We then press the mixture and allow it to ripen and cure. Voila, cheese!"

"There's a lot more to it than that," said Bingo. "I don't think you're experienced enough."

"Can't I just thicken the curds to help make the cheese?" begged Bango.

"All right, Bango," conceded Santa. "I'll let you thicken the curds, but Bingo gels all the whey!"

To make sure I won't be late for work, my girlfriend calls me on the phone every morning to wake me up.

Wouldn't it be easier for her to just lean over, start shaking me, and yell, 'HEY! WAKE UP!'?