A drunk was discovered late at night crawling along the Boardwalk at Atlantic City. A policeman approached him and asked: "What do you think you are doing?"
He answered: "Officer, I am going to climb this ladder, if it takes me all night!"

A Preacher was giving a sermon one Sunday morning, when he noticed old man Brown sound asleep in the last pew. He asked the Congregation: "All those who want to go to Heaven, stand up!" All rose except old man Brown. After the Congregation sat down, he yelled at the top of his voice, "ALL THOSE WHO WASNT TO GO TO HELL, STAND UP!!!" Old man Brown woke up, stood up, looked around and said, "I don't know what we are voting on, Reverend, but whatever it is, we sure are in the minority!!"