Favorite this joke I hate it when you offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache, and suddenly she's not your friend anymore.
What did the gangster's son tell his dad when he failed his school examination?
"Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours but I told them nothing!"
A police officer pulls over a car in the middle of the night:
"Sir, do you realize how badly your car was swerving between lanes?"
"I've had 8 drinks, officer."
"That's still no excuse to let your wife drive."
An older gentleman goes into a bar and hears the other patrons discussing the ups and down of marriage. "Next week my wife and I will celebrate our fiftieth anniversary," he tells them.
"That's great. What's your secret for a long and happy marriage," one asks.
"Well, you have to do nice things for your wife."
"Such as?"
"Well, for our twenty fifth anniversary I took her to Italy."
"That is nice. What are you going to do for your fiftieth?"
"I'm going back to visit her."
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