Police: Did you kill this man?

Me: No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes.

Before the mother squid gave birth, she said she had an inkling...

Teacher: Did you hear about the actress who attacked her husband?

Student: No, who was it?

Teacher: Reese...

Student: Witherspoon?

Teacher: No, with her knife!

Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It's very time consuming.