One day a man is walking down the street when he sees an old man with a nice looking dog. He goes over to the man and asks, "Does your dog bite?" the old man replies "No never". When the man bends down to stroke the dog, it immediately takes a snap at his hand. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!", "I did" replies the old man, "But this isn't my dog!'.

Dolphins are so intelligent that within a few weeks of captivity they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw to them fish three times a day.

For her 87th birthday Ruth who was not acquainted with modern technology, was given a new cell phone by her son. After setting it up and showing her how to use it he went home and called her.

"How is your new phone working, Mom." Her reply astonished him. "Oh we took it back. It wouldn't work. It did not even have a cord."

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live together. One night the 96-year-0ld draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yells.

The 94-year-old hollers back, "I don't know, I'll come up to see." She starts up the stairs and stops. She shouts, "Was I going up or going down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful", and knocks on wood for good measure. Then she yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."