Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!"

*Nobody stands up

Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students over here!!"

*Little Johnny stands up

Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?"

Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Wife: "What are you doing?"

Husband: "Nothing."

Wife: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."

Husband: "I was looking for the expiration date."

Teacher: "Whoever answers my next question, can go home."

One boy throws his bag out the window.

Teacher: "Who just threw that?"

Boy: "Me, and now I’m going home."