Favorite this joke A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men. He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day.
His wife thought about this for a while.
She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.
Her husband looked stunned. He said, "What?"
A police theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the officer called the farmer directly.
"Is it true, Mr. Smith, that you lost 2,025 pigs?" she asked.
"Yeth," lisped the farmer.
Being from that area herself, the officer clearly understood the farmer. She entered her report: "Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs."
A Methodist minister meets three Baptist deacons on the golf course and invites them to come to his church some Sunday. Not too many weeks thereafter and just as services are starting, they show up.
Attendance was good in the small Methodist church and there wasn't a pew available. Several church members were already seated on folding chairs.
When the minister, just starting the service, saw the three Baptist deacons enter, he leaned down from the pulpit and whispered to the nearest usher, "Please get three chairs for my Baptist friends in the back."
The usher, hard of hearing, leaned closer and said, "I beg your pardon?"
"Get three chairs for my Baptist friends," repeated the minister. The usher strained closer with a puzzled look still on his face.
Once more the minister tried, speaking slowly, "Three chairs for the Baptists," he enunciated.
The usher's face lit up he turned to face the congregation. "All right, everybody," he called out. "Three cheers for the Baptists!"
When my son was 4, I was in a Women's Bible Study group. They had classes for children as well, while we studied in our groups. One day, as my son and I were walking to our car, he said to me, "Mom, I'm not going to sin anymore."
You can imagine my pride at hearing this. Then I got to wondering why he said this, so I asked him.
His answer was quick: "Jesus said if you don't sin, you can throw the first stone, and I want to throw the first stone."
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