Christmas time...

That time of year when many people are more interested in the present than the past.

A student was heading home for the holidays. When she got to the airline counter, she presented her ticket to New York and as she gave the agent her luggage she asked, "I'd like you to send my green suitcase to Hawaii, and my red suitcase to London."

The confused agent said, "I'm sorry, we can't to that."

"Really? I am so relieved to hear you say that because, that's exactly what you did to my luggage last year!"

While studying the occult, a teacher asked one of the boys in her class, "Can people predict the future with cards?"

His response was, "My mother can."

The teacher replied, "Really?"

The young boy was quick to explain, "Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."

There once was a funeral for a woman who had often screamed at her husband, drove her kids half nuts, scrapped with the neighbors at the slightest opportunity, and even made their cat and dog crazy with her explosive temper.

As the casket was lowered into the grave, a violent thunderstorm broke, and the pastor's benediction was drowned out by a blinding flash of lightning, followed by terrific thunder.

"Well, at least we know she got there all right," commented her husband.