When I was 28, I was teaching English to high school freshmen. Fridays were dress-down days.

One Friday I came to school wearing a college sweatshirt and jeans. A student took a look at me and his eyes widened.

“Wow!” he said. “You should wear jeans every day, you look twenty or thirty years younger.”

On my first day teaching remedial English to inmates, I was very nervous to be in a prison classroom.

My students seemed uncomfortable as well, many of them hadn’t been near a classroom in decades.

I began class by nervously asking, “Who can tell me what a sentence is?”

The class burst out laughing. That broke the ice.

There was this limo driver who was in business for 25 years without a single customer...

All that time and nothing to chauffeur it.

Why do accountants make good lovers?

They're great with figures.