The teacher asks Joanie, "If you had a million dollars and gave away one quarter and another quarter and then another quarter, how much would you have left?"

Joanie replies, "A million dollars minus 75 cents."

My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. He had just turned 75 and was feeling a little wistful.

“You know,” he said to our grandson, “it’s not easy getting old. I guess I’m in the fourth quarter now.”

“Don’t worry, Grandpa,” Our grandson said cheerily. “Maybe you’ll go into overtime.”

Halfway through dinner one night, our friend told us of his days playing football in college as a defensive lineman.

“Did you play sports in college,” his wife then asked me.

“Yes,” I answered. “I was on West Point’s shooting team.”

“That’s great,” she said, appropriately impressed. “Offense or defense?”

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?"

The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging."

"Hanging? Who are they hanging?"

"Brown Paper Pete," the bartender replied.

"What kind of a name is that?" the cowboy asked.

"Well," said the bartender, "he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes."

"Weird guy," said the cowboy. "What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling," said the bartender.