Dad: "Say daddy!"
Baby: "Mommy!"

Dad: "Come on, say daddy!"
Baby: "Mommy!"

Dad: "Darn it, say daddy!"
Baby: "Darn it, Mommy!"

[Mom comes home and joins the conversation.]
Mom: "Honey, I'm home!"
Baby: "Darn it!"

Mom: "Who taught you that?"
Baby: "Daddy!"
Dad: ...

While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."

He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom, smiling but looking a little nervous, leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's self-rising flour, right?"

The Stork family sits down to dinner. The momma stork asks the daddy stork, "So how was your day dear?"

"Well", he replied, "I flew North and South all day, making people happy. And how was your day?"

She answers, "Pretty much the same. I flew East and West making families happy."

They both turn to junior Stork, "And how was your day?", they asked.

Junior Stork tells them, "I had a blast! I flew all over, scaring the heck out of college students!"

I have a friend who filled his car with gas at a self-service gas station. After he had paid and driven away, he realized that he had left the gas cap on top of his car. He stopped and looked and, sure enough, it was lost.

Well, he thought for a second and realized that other people must have done the same thing, and that it was worth going back to look by the side of the road since even if he couldn't find his own gas cap, he might be able to find one that fit. Sure enough, he hadn't been searching long when he found a gas cap. He tried it on, and it went into place with a satisfying click.

"Great," he thought, "I lost my gas cap, but I found another one that fits... and this one's even better because it locks!"