Hanging in the hallway at a high school are the basketball team pictures from the past decades. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year -- "92-93," "93-94," "94-95," etc.

One day the principal spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to the principal, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"

As a nightclub owner, I hired a pianist and a drummer to entertain my customers. After several performances, I discovered the drummer had walked away with some of my valuables. I notified the police, who arrested him.

Desperate for another drummer, I called a friend who knew some musicians. "What happened to the drummer you had"? he asked me.

"I had him arrested," I replied.

My friend paused for a second and asked, "How badly did he play"?

A man calls a refrigerator repair service. "My refrigerator isn't working."

"What kind is it?"

"It's a small one."

"Electric, gas or propane?"

"Propane."

"Ah! Then the problem is most likely vapor lock. You don't need a service call, just turn the refrigerator upside down for a few minutes to allow the lock to clear. Then put it back and all should be well."

Second call, a few minutes later. "The least you could have done is to tell me to empty the fridge first!"

A retired couple are discussing all aspects of their future. The man asked the woman, "What will you do if die?"

After some thought, she said that she'd probably look for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so active for her age.

Then she inquired, "What will you do if I die first?"

He replied, "Probably the same thing."