A guy and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over 11 years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair of shoes over a decade ago.

"Do you think the shoes will still be at the shop?" the man asked.

"Not very likely," his wife said.

"It's worth a try," he said, pocketing the ticket. He went downstairs, hopped in the car and drove to the shoe shop. With a straight face, he handed the ticket to the man behind the counter. With a face just as straight, the man said, "Just a minute. I'll have to look for these."

He disappeared into a dark corner at the back of the shop. Two minutes later, the man called out, "Here they are!"

"No kidding," the customer called back. "That's terrific! Who would have thought they'd still be here after all this time?"

The man came back to the counter, empty handed. "They'll be ready on Thursday," he said calmly.

During a sermon one Sunday, the pastor heard two teenage girls in the back giggling and disturbing people.

He interrupted his sermon and announced sternly, "There are two of you here who have not heard a word I've said." That quieted them down.

When the service was over, he went to greet people at the front door. Three different adults apologized for going to sleep in church, promising it would never happen again.

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how, after the worship service, he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the
church building.

Therefore, he was slightly annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute had been brought in at the last minute. The substitute wanted to know what to play. "Here's a copy of the service," said the minister. "But you'll have to think of something to play after I make the announcement about the finances."

During the service, the minister paused and said, "Brothers and Sisters, we are in difficulty. The roof repairs cost twice as much as we expected, and we need $4,000 more. Any of you who can pledge $100 or more, please stand up."

At that moment, the substitute organist played "The Star-Spangled Banner."

And that is how the substitute became the regular organist.

An angry motorist went back to a garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for his car just six months earlier.

"Listen", the motorist grumbled to the owner of the garage, "when I bought this battery you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. It died after only six months!"

"Sorry," apologized the garage owner. "I didn't think your car would last longer than that."