Here are a few funny insurance claims people supposedly have made:

* "Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

* "The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

* "I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it."

* "The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."

* "I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

* "An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."

* "I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries."

* "When I could not avoid a collision, I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car."

* "I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."

Back when I went to college, the female dormitory was out-of-bounds for all male students, as was the male dormitory to the female students.It was explained to us during orientation that anybody caught breaking this rule would be fined $20 the first time.

Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time would be fined $60. Being caught a third time incurred a hefty fine of $180. Then we were asked, “Are there any questions?"

At this, a male student in the crowd inquired. "Er... How much for a season pass?"

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end.

Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!"

"Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store.

A clerk answers and Tom says, "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?"

The clerk replies, "Canned or frozen?"

My brother spent all of the “fun money” our parents had allotted halfway through his first semester at college.

He sent this text to our dad: Dear dad, no mon, no fun, your son.

Our dad replied with: Dear son, too bad, so sad, your dad.