The newly-married husband came home from the office to find his young wife in floods of tears. "Darling, whatever is the matter?" he asked.

"Sweetheart," she sobbed, "the most terrible thing has happened! I cooked my very first Beef Bourguignon for you, and I got it out of the oven to season it, and the phone rang. When I came back from answering the phone, I found that the cat had eaten it!"

"Don't worry, darling," said her husband. "Don't cry. We can get a new cat tomorrow."

Two women were discussing marriage, and one said, "We've been married ten years, and every night my husband has complained about dinner. Not one night without complaining about the food."

The other woman said, "That's awful. Doesn't it bother you?"

The first one replied, "Oh, no. Not in the slightest."

"You must be a saint!" commented the second.

To which the first woman replied, "Why should I object? A lot of people don't like their own cooking."

In one small rural town the sheriff also fulfilled the role of the town's veterinarian. One night the phone rang, and his wife answered.

An agitated voice inquired, "Is your husband there?"

"He is, but tell me, do you need him as the sheriff or the vet?" the wife asked.

"Both!" was the reply. "We can't get our dog's mouth open, and there's a burglar in it!"