Favorite this joke After watching the movie Cinderella, five-year-old Sarah started using her pinwheel as a magic wand, pretending she was a fairy godmother. "Make three wishes," she told her mother, "and I'll grant them."
Her mom first asked for world peace. Sarah swung her wand and proclaimed the request fulfilled.
Next, her mother requested for a cure for all ill children. Again, with a sweep of the pinwheel, Sarah obliged.
The mother, with a glance down at her rather ample curves, made her third wish, "I wish to have a trim figure again."
The miniature fairy godmother started waving her wand madly. "I'll need more power for this one!" she exclaimed.
One morning, while shaving, a fellow started cursing and swearing so loudly it attracted the attention of his wife, who was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.
"What's the matter?" she called out.
"My razor -- it won't cut!" he answered.
"Don't be silly, dear!" she declared. "You mean to tell me your beard is tougher than linoleum?"
A tough old cowboy once counseled his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his oatmeal every morning. The grandson did this religiously and he lived to the age of 93.
When he died, he left 14 children, 28 grandchildren, 35 great grandchildren and a fifteen foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her math classes:
"A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?"
After a very long silence in the classroom, little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, little Morris answered, "A good lawyer."
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