Favorite this joke A large two engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance one of the engines broke down.
"No problem," the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power.
Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we have no power. The good news is that this is a train and not a plane."
After the church service, a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "But why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
Grandma, who was becoming an evermore intimidating personality as the years went on, was giving directions to her grown grandson who was coming to visit with his wife.
"You come to the front door of the apartment complex. I am in apartment 14T. There is a big panel at the door. With your elbow push button 14T. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow hit 14. When you get out I am on the left. With your elbow, ring my doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?" the grandson asked.
"You're coming empty handed?"
Halloween. The door bell rings and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!"
The man asks the kid what he is dressed up as. The kid replies, "I'm an IRS agent."
Then he takes 40 percent of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say thank you.
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