Favorite this joke I wondered if I could get my husband to help me address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way."
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax."
Two new work crews were putting in telephone poles. At the end of the day the foreman asked the first crew how many poles they had done.
"Twelve," was the reply. Then he asked the second crew and they said, "two."
"Two?" shouted the foreman. "The others did twelve!"
"Yeah," answered the leader of the second crew, "but you should see how much they left sticking out of the ground."
Every December it was the same excruciating tradition. Our family would get up at the crack of dawn, go to a Christmas tree farm and tromp across acres of snow in search of the perfect tree.
Hours later our feet would be freezing, but Mom would press on, convinced the tree of her dreams was, "just up ahead."
One year I snapped. "Mom, face it. The perfect tree doesn't exist. It's like looking for a man. Just be satisfied if you can find one that isn't dead, doesn't have too many bald spots and is straight."
Today, I was in the bathroom at a popular coffee chain. Someone wrote "What Would Jesus Do?" on the wall.
Another person wrote directly underneath that, "Wash His hands..."
Then a third person added, "And your feet!"
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