Favorite this joke Two brothers received a sled for Christmas. After they played in the snow for a half-hour, Billy was in tears.
Their father said, "John, I told you to let Billy use the sled half the time."
John replied, "I did! I used it going down and Billy used it going up!"
Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, "Say, why did the foreman fire you?"
Replied the second, "You know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work? Well, my foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman."
A gnome is in the garden busily destroying some bushes when a house cat appears.
"What are you?" asks the cat.
"A gnome," comes the reply. "I steal food from humans, I kill their plants, I make annoying music at night to drive them crazy, and I love mischief. And what, may I ask, are you?"
The cat replies, "Um, I guess I'm a gnome."
Little Johnny and his family seldom had guests, so he was eager to help his mother after his father appeared with two dinner guests from the office.
When the dinner was nearly over, Johnny went to the kitchen and proudly carried in the first piece of apple pie, giving it to his father who passed it to a guest.
Little Johnny came in with a second piece of pie and gave it to his father, who again gave it to a guest.
This was too much for Johnny, who said, "It's no use, Dad. The pieces are all the same size."
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