Favorite this joke A young man who wants to see the world signs on to a steamship to be trained as a helmsman. He masters the classroom instruction, then starts his practical training on the wheel of the vessel. In his first lesson, the mate gives him a heading, and the young fellow holds to it. Then the mate orders, "Come starboard."
Pleased at knowing immediately which way starboard is, the young man leaves the helm and walks over to his instructor.
The mate has an incredulous look on his face as the helm swings freely. Then, rather gently considering the circumstance, he asks politely, "Could you bring the ship with you?"
During my physical fitness class, I had everyone lie on their backs with their legs up as if pedaling a bike. After several minutes, one man suddenly stopped.
"Why did you stop pedaling?" I shouted.
"I didn't stop," he said, wheezing, "I'm coasting."
One weekend my friend Sally, a nurse, was looking after her nine-year-old nephew when he fell off a playground structure and hit his head.
Worried that he might have a concussion, she checked him all night. Every hour, she'd gently shake him and ask, "What's your name?"
Soon, he began moaning in protest each time she entered the room.
When Sally went in at 5:00 A.M. she found something white on his forehead. Leaning close, she saw a crayon-scrawled message taped to his forehead.
It read: "My name is Daniel."
When I was introduced to a couple visiting our congregation, I decided to remember their names by noting they were the same as those of two characters in a popular children's story.
After the services I stopped to talk to them, and as they were saying goodbye I teased,
"Be careful going up that hill! Ah, but you must get that all the time."
They smiled politely but said nothing. After they left, my husband asked, "What was that all about?"
"Jack and Jill. Up the hill. Remember?" I said.
"Yes, but what does that have to do with," he pointed to the couple, "Dick and Jane?"
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