My pregnant daughter and her husband were checking out a new birth facility that was more like a spa. The birthing room had a hot tub, soft music, and candlelight.

"What do you think?" she said

He looked around. "Isn't this how we got here in the first place?"

"Oh, I'm so happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother on his dad's side. "Now maybe mom will do the trick she has been promising us."

The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she asked.

"I heard her tell daddy," the little boy answered, "that she would climb the walls if you came to visit us again.

A woman comes home from a date rather sad. She tells her mother, "He proposed to me an hour ago."

"So why are you upset?" her mother asks.

"Because he also told me he's an atheist. He doesn't even believe there's a hell!"

Her mother replies, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."