Favorite this joke A woman goes to the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published. The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word. She pauses, reflects, and then she says, well then, let it read: "Fred Brown died."
Amused at the woman's thrift, the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries.
She thinks it over and in a few seconds says, "In that case, let it read, 'Fred Brown died. Golf clubs for sale.'"
It was moving day. The previous owners were going to finish moving out that morning, and we were going to start moving in that afternoon.
We showed up just as they were finishing up, around lunchtime. The couple was sitting down for a breather before they left. The wife suggested to her husband that they go to McDonald's for lunch. She told us with guilty pleasure, "I know it's not good for me, but I just love burgers and fries."
Her husband had a somewhat disgusted look on his face. He told us, in all seriousness, "Not me. I'm a meat and potatoes man."
There is a guy who has a dog that doesn't obey him. He gets a recommendation for a great dog trainer and decides to go there. The dog owner walks in the room and asks, "Can you train my dog?"
The trainer replies, "Well, I can train your dog, and I will give you a quick demonstration of how I work."
He dumps a box full of bones on the floor and blows a whistle. A dog comes in and makes a skeleton with the bones.
"Wow!" says the dog owner, "What kind of dog is that?"
"That's a nurse's dog," responds the trainer.
Then he blows the whistle again and a second dog comes in the room. That dog makes a big building.
The dog owner says, "Wow! What kind of dog is that?"
"That's an architect's dog," replies the trainer.
Then the trainer blows the whistle again and a third dog comes in. That dog takes all the bones and runs away.
"What kind of dog is that?" says the dog owner.
"That's a lawyer's dog."
Two women were shopping. When they started to discuss their home lives, one said, "Seems like all my boyfriend and I do anymore is fight. I've been so upset I've lost 20 pounds in two weeks."
"Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.
"Not yet," the first replied, "I like to lose at least another 10 to 15 pounds first."
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