A few years ago we were desperately trying to sell our house, which was situated on a busy thoroughfare. Our real estate agent decided to have an open-house nearly every day to promote the sale. We instructed the children not to talk to anyone about the house.

One evening a man took our seven-year-old daughter aside and asked if our house had any secrets he should know. Her first reaction was to smile and ignore his question. But he became more persistent and, finally, she confessed there was one secret but she could not tell it to him.

"Now we're getting somewhere," he said. "Tell me the secret. I promise I won't tell anyone."

She looked him straight in the eye before whispering, "We have monsters in our sewer."

A minister had all of his remaining teeth pulled out. New dentures were being made. The first Sunday, he only preached 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. On the third Sunday, he preached 1 hour 25 minutes.

When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded, “The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my new dentures were hurting me a lot. The third Sunday, I accidentally grabbed my wife's dentures. I don't know what happened, I just couldn't stop!”

A mother-in-law visits her son-in-law before leaving for a trip. They are sipping coffee and chatting. Suddenly, the mother-in-law looks at the clock and jumps off her chair exclaiming, "It's already 3 pm! I'm about to miss my train!"

She begins to put her coat on in a hurry. At this moment the son-in-law's six-year-old daughter runs up to her and before her dad can do anything, she says, "Don't hurry Granny, Daddy set the clock two hours ahead."