The bank manager noticed the new clerk was not good at counting money and adding up figures.

"Where did you get your financial education?" he asked.

"Yale," replied the lad.

"And what's your name?" barked the manager.

"Yim Yohnston," he replied.

A local veterinarian was known for his wry humor. He surpassed himself one summer day when a woman, who was visiting, brought a dog to him after an encounter with a porcupine.

After almost an hour of prying, pulling, cutting and stitching, he returned the dog to its owner, who asked what she owed.

"$150 dollars, ma'am," he answered.

"Now that's simply outrageous!" she stormed. "That's what's wrong with you people, you're always trying to overcharge summer visitors. What do you do in the winter, when there is no one here to overcharge?"

"Raise porcupines, ma'am."

After a long, dry sermon, the minister announced that he wished to meet with the church board after the service. The first man to arrive was a stranger.

“You misunderstood my announcement. This is a meeting of the board of the church,” said the minister.

“That is why I am here,” said the man. “If there is anyone here today more bored than I am, I’d like to meet him or her.”

A junior partner in a law firm was sent to represent a long-term client. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released.

Excited about his success, the attorney emailed the firm: "Justice prevailed."

The senior partner replied in haste, "Appeal immediately!"