Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?"

Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."

When a small village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one.

Randall, an older man, stood up. "Ah think we should keep the old truck," he said. "We can use it for all them false alarms!"

The children were all lined up for their first confession when Little Johnny’s turn came. The priest asked him to confess his sins, and the boy promptly replied, “Father, I threw a stone at Jimmy.”

“That was a very misguided thing to do, my son,” said the priest patiently.

“It wasn’t misguided at all,” said Little Johnny. “I hit him.”

On a narrow mountain road a man saw a car driving uphill backwards.

"Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards?"

"Because we are not sure if there's enough space to make a U-turn on top of the mountain."

After one hour the same man saw the same car driving downhill backwards.

"But guys, why are you driving backwards again?"

"There was enough space to make a U-turn up there."