After a vigorous workout at a local health club, Joe was finishing up his post workout shower and shave. As he was he finishing up his shave, Joe answered the cell phone after 5 rings.

He said into the phone, "I would go with the Lexus SUV rather than the KIA sedan... I think you should also go with the leather instead of the cloth interior... You asked about the 14 inch wheels vs. the 16 inch, I would go with the 16 inch... And power seats and all other power features and options... As to the color, you should pick what you like."

He then hung up the cell phone. After another minute he picked up the cell phone again and said in a loud voice so even the guys still in the shower could hear him, "HEY, DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHOSE CELL PHONE THIS IS?"

A man walks into a store and orders some rigatoni, some mozzarella, parmesan cheese and a bottle of red wine.

The clerk says "You must be Italian."

The customer, put off says, " If I ordered some potatoes, cabbage and a six pack of beer would you say I must be Irish."

"No." Said the clerk, "THIS IS A HARDWARE STORE!"

After completing his annual physical on a patient. The doctor asked if there was anything that was bothering him. Joe said ya my Hearing.

The doctor examined Joe's ear and removed some ear wax. He then asked Joe if his hearing was better.

Joe said I don't know the hearing is next Tuesday

A woman was following her boyfriend home in her car when he hit a rabbit in the road. He stopped the car and saw the rabbit lying prone in the road. He felt terrible.

His girlfriend assessed the situation and dug into her purse and sprayed the rabbit who quickly jumped up hopped a few feet and turned and waved one of his front paws.

The boyfriend said what did you spray him with? She said my hair spray it says on the label:

REVIVES DEAD HAIR (hare) GIVES PERMANENT WAVE