Favorite this joke A trainee was working in the produce section of a supermarket when a customer asked him for a half a head of lettuce. The employee went into the back and told the manager that some jerk wants a half a head of lettuce. Just as the trainee says this to his manager he sports the customer out of the corner of his eye standing right next to him.
He quickly says to the manager "and this gentleman would like the other half."
A businessman hailed a cab from his hotel and asked to be driven to the hospital about a mile away.
The cabby started driving but he was only going about 15 mph.
The passenger banged on the partition and said speed it up.
The cabby screamed hit the gas and plowed into a tree.
The passenger said what the heck is wrong with you?
This is my first day driving a cab.
I drove for a funeral home for 15 years and no one ever banged on my partition.
You scared the living-daylights out of me!
I went to a speciality shop to buy a bra for my wife
The clerk said he needed to know something about her before making a suggestion for instance: We have a Presbyterian bra that is firm and supportive. We have the Salvation Army bra that is warm and uplifting.
The clerk asked me do you understand? I said yes she is Jewish, small busted and always finding fault with me.
You need the Jewish bra. It makes mountains out of mole hills
A young blonde with a coach ticket went up and sat down in the first class section of a plane going from Tampa to Los Angles
The airline hostess said I'm sorry miss but you have to sit in the coach section.
The blonde replied " I'm blonde and beautiful and I'm going to LA " She wouldn't move.
Finally the first officer came up and whispered in her ear. The blonde jumped up and ran back to coach
The stewardess asked the first officer what he said to the blonde.
I told her First Class doesn't stop in LA.
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