I love my job, I love the pay.
I love it more and more each day.
I love my boss; he is the best.
I love his boss and all the rest.

I love my office and its location.
I hate to have to go on vacation.
I love my furniture, drab and gray,
And the paper that piles up every day.

I love my chair in my padded cell.
There's nothing else I love so well.
I love to work among my peers.
I love their leers and jeers and sneers.

I love my computer and its software;
I hug it often though it don't care.
I love each program and every file,
I try to understand once in a while.

I'm happy to be here, I am, I am;
I'm the happiest slave of my Uncle Sam.
I love this work; I love these chores.
I love the meetings with deadly bores.

I love my job-I'll say it again.
I even love these friendly men,
These men who've come to visit today
In lovely white coats to take me away.

The little boy came home from his first day at Sunday School. He told his mother that his Sunday school teacher was Jesus' granny.

"How did you find that out?" his mother asked.

"Well, she never stops talking about Jesus," he replied.

As the son of a college professor and a professor myself, I hoped my sons would go to college. But after our oldest found that the courses that he wanted to take at the university were full, he got discouraged. I went to the registrar. I'd heard he was a stickler for rules, so I was floored when the man asked, "What classes would he like?" and took care of the problem on his computer.

Seeing my surprise, he explained that years before he was in the same situation as my son. He'd met a professor who took him to the enrollment lines and got him into every class he wanted. "That man was your father. By any chance, is he still alive?"

I nodded, and he smiled. "Good," he said. "Tell him we're even."

One of our projects at military leadership school called for us to speak in front of the class on a topic picked by our instructor.

A classmate gave an impassioned speech on the benefits of drinking liquor. Alcohol, he insisted, warded off colds, kept you alert, and even made you steadier on your feet.

"Good job," said our instructor when he finished. "Only one thing: Your topic was the benefits of drinking liquids, not liquor."