Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."

Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"

Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $1500 left."

When the wealthy businessman choked on a fish bone at a restaurant, he was fortunate that a doctor was seated at a nearby table. Springing up, the doctor skillfully removed the bone and saved his life.

As soon as the fellow had calmed himself and could talk again, he thanked the surgeon enthusiastically and offered to pay him for his services.

"Just name the fee," he croaked gratefully.

"Okay," replied the doctor. "How about half of what you'd have offered when the bone was still stuck in your throat?"

When our son Jimmy went to Navy boot camp, we waited impatiently for word from him.

Finally we received a post card telling us he was doing well and we shouldn't worry. It went on to say that he was being kept busy acclimating to a military lifestyle and that he would send a detailed letter in a couple of weeks.

After reading his card a second time, however, we noticed that Jimmy had faintly underlined letters throughout the note.

When the letters were combined, his hidden message read, "Help me!"