The judge said to his dentist: "Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth."

Our supervisor recently made a casual comment about my shaggy mane of hair. He then went on to extol the virtues of a good haircut, which, he insisted, makes an elderly man look younger and a younger man seem more mature.

"How would a haircut make a middle-aged man like me appear?" I asked.

"Still employed," he answered.

Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules.

Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Theology is a game whose object is to bring rules into the subjective.

What's the difference between an insurance company actuary and a mafia actuary?

An insurance company actuary can tell you how many people will die this year.

A mafia actuary can name them.