A motorway walks into a pub one day. He goes up to the bar and orders himself a drink. He just sits down when in walks a strip of tarmac.

The motorway sees the tarmac and starts to panic so he jumps over the bar and ducks down so it won't see him. The barman looks down at him and says, "What's the matter with you? Why are you hiding? You've got six lanes and two hard shoulders. Why are you frightened of a piece of tarmac?

The motorway replies, "You don't know him like I do. He's a cyclepath."

The young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage.

One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant. As he perused the menu, he casually asked her, "So... how do you like your rice? Boiled? Steamed? Or fried?"

Without missing a beat she looked over her menu at him and replied clearly, "Thrown."

A woman was driving her old beat up car on the highway with her 7 year old son. She tried to keep up with traffic but they were flying by her.

After getting caught in a large group of cars flying down the road, she looked at her speedometer to see she was doing 15 miles over the speed limit. Slowing down, she moved over to the side and got out of the clump that soon left her behind.

She looked up and saw the flashing lights of a police car. Pulling over she waited for the officer to come up to her car. As he did he said, "Ma'am do you know why I pulled you over?"

Her son piped up from the back seat, "I do... because you couldn't catch the other cars!"

A judge was annoyed to find that his car wouldn't start. He called a taxi, and soon one arrived at his house. Climbing in, he told the driver to take him to the halls of justice.

"Where are they?" asked the driver.

"You mean to say that you don't know where the courthouse is?" asked the incredulous judge.

"The courthouse? Of course I know where that is," replied the driver. "But you said you wanted to go to the 'halls of justice.'"