Grandpa John was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. "Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success," he cackled. "I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now."

The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.

"Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk."

"How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist.

The driver jumped out, ran to the rear of his car, and gave a long, painful groan.

He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.

"Come on, now," he said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious."

"It isn't?" cried the motorist. "Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?"

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son.

The man behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro."

The man says that such a name is not acceptable, because it's a currency.

"What?" asks George. "There weren't any objections when I called my first two sons Mark and Frank!"

My mom is a less than fastidious housekeeper.

One evening my dad returned home from work, walked into the kitchen and teased her, "You know, dear, I can write my name in the dust on the mantel."

Mom turned to him and sweetly replied, "Yes, darling, I know. That's why I married a college graduate."