Ten Percent of the people make things happen.

Twenty percent of the people participate in what happens.

Sixty percent of the people watch things happen.

The remaining ten percent sit around confused wondering what happened.

The school teacher gave a pupil two apples. One was big the other was small. Then she said: "When your brother comes up and asks you for one of the apples which one are you going to give him?"

The student thought about it for a minute then replied: "Are we talking about my little brother or my big brother?"

A young man walks up to a beautiful young lady in the mall and asks, "Didn't I see you at the Cocktail Lounge last week?"

The young lady looks at him. "Yes... and that's why I don't go there anymore!" she replied as she walked away.

A man comes to his doctors office all battered and bruised. The doctor sees him and asks him how he got injured.

The man said there was a knock at his front door. When he opened the door there stood a six foot cockroach. He said he tried to shut the door real quick but before he could react the cockroach knocked him back against the far wall. He said the cockroach threw him around from wall to wall, punched and kicked him and then just turned and left.

The doctor said, "This is the flu season. I've been trying to contact all my patients and let them know there's a real nasty bug going around this year."