Favorite this joke St. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates one day when a man suddenly appeared before him. The man said "Let me in" but before St. Peter could say anything the man disappeared.
A few minutes later the man appeared again and said, "Let me in!" Again, before St. Peter could say anything, the man disappeared.
A few minutes later the man appeared again and said frantically, "Let me in quick!"
St. Peter said, "Are you playing games with me?"
The man said, "No! They're trying to resuscitate me!"
I was at a mini-mart one day when I noticed a woman smoking a cigarette while she was gassing up her car. There was a deputy in the store watching her. Suddenly the woman's arm caught fire. She was screaming and trying desperately to put it out, but couldn't.
The deputy ran over and put out the fire with his soda. He then handcuffed the lady and put her in the back of his squad car. I couldn't resist going over to him and asking what he was charging the woman with.
He looked at me, smiled, and said, "I'm charging her with waving a firearm around."
I was six years old when my daddy took me for my first airplane ride.
We boarded the plane and I got the window seat. After a short while I turned to daddy and exclaimed, "Daddy! We're so high up all the cars on the freeway down there look like ants."
Daddy moved over and looked out the window. After a moment he smiled and said, "Those are ants my dear, we haven't taken off yet."
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