Jane laughs at a joke once when you tell it.

Fred laughs at a joke twice. Once when you tell it and once with you explain it to him.

Susie laughs at a joke three times. Once when you tell it, once when you explain it to her, and once when she understands it.

Mark laughs at a joke twice. Once when you tell it and once when you explain it to him. He never understands it.

Will laughs at a joke once when you tell it. There's no use trying to explain it to him.

One day in the army I was assigned KP duty. I reported to the Mess Hall and was told by the sergeant in charge that he wanted me to make 100 gallons of soup for tonight's dinner. I told him I didn't know how to make soup. He quickly handed me a book and told me to follow the directions carefully.

Soon after I had a large kettle of soup simmering. The sergeant came up and tasted the soup. He took a second spoonful and stood there staring at me. I thought I had really messed up the soup and was waiting for a reprimand.

Instead the sergeant said, "This tastes really good... are you sure you followed the recipe?"

While driving a truck I once had to make a delivery to Death Valley, California.

When I arrived it was 128 degrees Fahrenheit. After just a few minutes I was so miserable I was afraid I was going to die.

After a couple hours, it was still 128 degrees, but I was so miserable that I was afraid I wasn't going to die.