When my wife and I went out for dinner I thought I'd have a little fun. I said to her, "Did you see that waitress? She looked at me and smiled."

Without batting an eye my wife responded, "So what, the first time I saw you I laughed right out loud. It means nothing."

Shortly after their honeymoon a wife came up with a list of the changes she wanted her new husband to make. Trying to please her, he agreed to change.

A year later, after numerous changes, his wife started complaining he wasn't the man she married.

Go figure.

Wife to husband: Do you know what a closet is for?

Husband: Yes. A closet it wear I hang my clothes when all the door knobs are full.

Husband calling wife on her cell phone: Did you just try to call me?

Wife: No I didn't. Why?

Husband: Well my phone didn't ring and I just wanted to make sure it was you who wasn't calling!