Minnie: Do you know what one burp said to the other burp?

Sally: No. What?

Minnie: Let's be little stinkers and go out the back way.

John: "Do you know why the Bride and many other women cry at weddings?"

Fred: "No, why?"

John: "It's because the Bride isn't marrying the best man."

I love you more than yesterday...

Yesterday you just got on my nerves!

The government put out notices for contractors to bid for a small job they needed done. The first bid was for $750.00. The second bid was for $375.00. The third bid was for $2,375.00.

Stunned at the high price of the third bid the government agent called the contractor and asked how his bid could be so high.

"It's easy," the contractor said, "$1,000 is for me, $1,000 is for you for you, and then we hire the guy for $375 to do it."