I got angry with the mime that lived next door to me.

To get even I played a blank CD over and over.

That drove him crazy.

My wife opened her first checking account and went out purchasing things for the house.

After a couple weeks the bank called her and told her she was out of funds.

In total shock, my wife exclaimed, "How can I be out of money when I've got all these checks left?"

Husband: Honey, it looks like I'm not going to make it so I want to get something off my chest.

Wife: What is it dear?

Husband: I've been having an affair with your best friend, Julia, for the past year.

Wife: Oh yes. I know all about it.

Husband: You do!

Wife: Yes dear, Why do you think I poisoned you.