Marty Profile

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Marty

User Details

Member Since : Nov, 2015
# of jokes posted : 628
# of followers : 17
# of following: 17
Location: United States
won: $ 580.00
7 votes

I’m 30 years older than my wife. When she was born I was thirty times older than she.

When I was 40 she was 10 making me four times older.

When she was 20 years old I was 50 making me only 2.5 times older.

Last year when we married, she was 30 and I was 60, making me twice her age.

I figure before long we’ll be the same age...

7 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
2 votes

Gigahertz: When the rock bands lead singer swan dives from the stage but no one catches him.
Megabyte: When your mouth overrides your ability to keep your job slinging hamburgers.

Hard Drive: That trip you make to the in-laws every Sunday for dinner!
Microwave: When you lift one finger off the steering wheel to wave.

Keyboard: The main structural backbone in ship building.
Algorithms: Highly trained dancing alligators.

Semi-Conductor: Person in training to lead an orchestra.
Terabyte: When a pitbull latches on to the seat of your pants but you emerge unscathed.

C++ code language: When you earned a B but your college professor doesn't like your pink hair.
Blue Tooth: When a lack of brushing goes way beyond the yellow tooth stage.

2 votes

posted by "Marty" |
2 votes

I'm beginning to think my five year old grandson is a genius...

I can't tell his paintings from that of Picasso!

2 votes

CATEGORY Misc Jokes
posted by "Marty" |
1 votes

My wife drew a stick figure of her and I on my breakfast napkin.

She then wrote "I love you" on it.

Guys, whatever you do, if you receive a sweet sentiment like this don't tape it to the fridge!

1 votes

CATEGORY Love Jokes
posted by "Marty" |