If you're becoming forgetful, I have a tip for you.

Date the notes you write to yourself.

I just spent the entire morning looking for Easter eggs.

Now that all of the coal mines are closed, all of those lumps of coal Santa left me are now worth a fortune!

I think I can corner the market with my supply alone... Thanks Santa!

Teacher: What has the 2016 election taught us?

Little Johnny: You don't need to hold press conferences if you have a Twitter account!

Due to finances this year, I'd like to request we lower it from the twelve days of Christmas down to eight.