(Wife) Eleanor Roosevelt said “intelligent people are those with ideas”.

(Husband) That sounds like me I always have ideas!

(Wife) Honey, I don’t think Mrs. Roosevelt was thinking about ideas that start out with, “Hey guys watch this!”

"Dad what do you call a lady president?"

"Well son, you call a lady president 'Madam President'."

"If that's what I call a lady president, what would I call a queen?"

"You already know that one son, you call her mom."

I woke up this morning with a string tied around my finger and I haven’t a clue why I put it there...

I better check my notes, it might be something important!

Now if I could just remember where I put my notes...

Now that I'm getting older I wonder how I can still contribute to society even after I’m gone...

In checking my options it looks like I’ll still be able to donate by body to science, science fiction that is.