School kids were having a debate about the U.S. Presidential election.

Emma said, “We need a candidate who is willing to tax the ultra rich and give to the poor”.

Little Johnny stood up and said, “I didn’t know Robin Hood was running!”

In demonstrating the division of powers within the government, the teacher used the family structure as an example.

One boy stood up and said, “It looks like my mom’s the president then, because she veto’s everything.”

(Husband) Hey Peaches!
(Wife) Yes chubby cheeks!

(Husband) Please don't call me chubby cheeks!
(Wife) OK, please don't call me peaches!

(Husband) Fine if you promise not to call me chubby cheeks! I'm putting the move on here, are you about ready plum cakes?

(Wife) I'LL BE RIGHT THERE LOBSTER CLAWS!!!

A magician opened his act by making an egg disappear. A heckler in the front row yells out, “That’s nothing, my ex wife made the house disappear!”